Our third exploration will focus on the emotional consequences of trauma and abuse. Our relationship to shame can grow out of a single traumatic event, or decades of recurring slights and cruelties. We follow many streams from initiating wounds to internalised self-shaming. Exploring shyness and self-criticism on the one hand, and overt self harm and self-destruction on the other, we shine a light on ways to self-compassion and wholeness. This is a workshop for both therapists AND for members of the general public.

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    Exploring Shame: Episode 3: Shame, Trauma and Abuse

    • Please read this before moving on to the next part.

    • Shame Episode 3 part 1: Emotions come to a conclusion, but shame stops that. Rupture and repair. Definition trauma.

    • Shame Episode 3 part 2: Difference trauma and abuse. Witnessing trauma. Trauma is not just about what happened to you, but how you experience it. Shame and trauma share psycho-physiological responses.

    • Shame Episode 3 part 3: Poem: The Medical Room. Trauma opens us. Which predisposes us to abuse.

    • Shame Episode 3 part 4: Body based therapy. Pesso Boyden System of Psychotherapy. The ego and the soul. Freddie Flintoff and bulimia. External shaming leads to self shaming.

    • Shame Episode 3 part 5: Two kinds of shame. The body's indications of shame. Trauma survivors have symptoms instead of memories. Shame needs more than just cognitive work.

    • Shame Episode 3 part 6: The journey out of toxic shame does not happen overnight. Pendulation. Do your own shame work as a therapist.

    • Shame Episode 3 part 7; Post traumatic shock. Post traumatic stress. Trauma and shame are linked. Mortified, humiliated, izzat. Anything less than nurture is abuse.

    • Shame Episode 3 part 8: What happened to me wasn't so bad! Dissociation. Poem: Back to the Numbers.

    • Shame Episode 3 part 9: Different kinds of abuse. Working with perpetrators of sexual violence and domestic abuse, helping them take responsibility without shaming them. Take 3 long breaths to activate the parasympathetic nervous system.

    • Shame Episode 3 part 10: Ritual, and returning the shame. Intergenerational shame.

    • Shame Episode 3 part 11: No wonder! Nevertheless. A counsellor can be the person who helps a client rebuild their interpersonal bridge.

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    This is the audio version of Shame, Trauma and Abuse : 1 hour 18 mins

    • Shame, Trauma and Abuse. 1 hour 18 mins.

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    • Please give feedback. NB A Certificate of Completion is released once feedback form has been filled in.

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    BONUS Resources

    • Working with Blame After Trauma: The problem of being hyper reactive



Juliet Grayson and William Ayot

JULIET GRAYSON has worked as a psychotherapist since 1991. She specialises in working with couples and sexual problems. As a psychotherapist she is UKCP registered, NLPtCA accredited, COSRT accredited, and a PBSP accredited Trainer. WILLIAM AYOT is an award-winning poet, author, teacher and ritualist. Over three decades he has hosted and led, men’s and mixed personal development events and rites of passage. He uses poetry and the arts to teach leadership in boardrooms and business schools around the world, currently teaching on the Advanced Management Programme at INSEAD. William designs and leads bespoke rituals for individuals. He is available for one-to-one coaching online.

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The next one in the shame series

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    £10.00Exploring Shame Series 1, Episode 4: Shame & Relationships (80 mins)

    The closer we get to our family of origin the younger we feel. Old family dynamics and memories of past gatherings layer our experience and can poison the best of occasions. In these circumstances, isolation, loneliness, resentment and past shames can be pointers towards understanding, compassion and genuine healing.
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What people say about Shame, Trauma and Abuse

  • 5 star review

    Thank you for being so authentic and for sharing your own histories, and experiences. It was a really thought provoking and engaging talk. You have helped my understanding. By doing that, you have opened the door for my own healing, and provided much needed tools that have destabilised my shame. That will be really beneficial to me in my life, and to my clients too. Bless you both.

Reviews and Comments

5 star rating

A Review of Shame 3

Jenny Lawson

What a wonderful training! I found it helpful to myself, and for my clients. Sometimes I feel mired in shame, but now I can appreciate how my bridge has be...

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What a wonderful training! I found it helpful to myself, and for my clients. Sometimes I feel mired in shame, but now I can appreciate how my bridge has been constructed. I will invite clients to give their shame back (in imagination). Thank you both.

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