Contents
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Shame and Relationships
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Please read this before moving on to the next part.
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Shame Episode 4 Part 1: Shame as part of the currency of the family. When parents love a version that is not really her, that is shame inducing. We may walk through the door of our parent’s home as a child, not as an adult. 5 minutes.
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Shame Episode 4 Part 2: How to react to presents you don’t like. Rules & Christmas rituals in different families. Passing the shame on. The sadness of not being seen. Puberty as a threat to parents. Words around shame that people can accept . 5 mins.
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Shame Episode 4 Part 3: Family history affects our predisposition to shame. Different tribes, prejudices, and values. The 80:20 rule. Mis-attunement. 5 mins
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Shame Episode 4 Part 4: The gender divide. Anger or tears instead of shame. Chores: he likes to rest & then do chores, she liked to do chores & then rest. Demand anxiety. Communicate so your partner can hear. 8 mins
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Shame Episode 4 Part 5: Humour & shame. Negative assumptions. Respecting our differences. We are one. Shyness and shame. A penetrating parent. Shyness shuts down spontaneity. Being exposed. The artists dilemma. Celebrity shamelessness. 8 mins
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Shame Episode 4 Part 6: Self worth. Examples of blessing. New relationships. Telling someone about this shameful part of my history. Telling too much too soon. Shame by association. 5 mins
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Shame Episode 4 Part 7: The shame of ageing. Feeling like too much for your partner. Ageing & shame. Shame rules in dysfunctional families. Secrecy, Perfectionism. Blame. 5 mins
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Shame Episode 4 Part 8: Virginia Satir - 5 Freedoms. Don’t talk. Don't make mistakes. Shame passed down the generations. Don’t say sorry. Don’t trust. 6 mins
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Shame Episode 4 Part 9: Shame bound families & conflict. Heartfelt apology to dissipate tension. Compliments can trigger shame. Poem “Two ways of looking at the world." 7 mins
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Shame Episode 4 Part 10: What to do when being shamed. Old roles & families of origin (FOO). Get strong before you stand up to your FOO. Shame isnot a life sentence. Self soothe and self-regulate. See self thru shining eyes of parent. 8 mins
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Shame Episode 4 Part 11: When dealing with own children don’t be perfect. Make mistakes, it gives permission. Terry Real’s model: How to give feedback to your partner. 3 mins
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Shame Episode 4 Part 12: Normal is not normal. Question: feedback with someone who experiences that as criticism. Pendulation. Using the 4 realms. Love ‘em up good. Attachment theory. Being grounded our body as therapists. Naming & blessing. 6 mins
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Shame Episode 4 Part 13: Under anger is a wound, inside blame is shame. Wrapping shame in anger. Shame thrives in the dark. Naming shame gives dimension. Shame to vulnerability. Anger begets anger, softness can beget softness. 6 mins
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This is the audio version of Shame and Relationship : 1 hour 21 mins
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This is the audio version of Shame and Relationship : 1 hour 21 mins
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This is the same video - Shame and Relationship - in one unbroken piece for those who prefer to watch 1 hour 21 minutes together
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Shame and Relationship: The unbroken video - i.e. 1 hour 21 mins continuous
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Feedback and Certificate of Completion
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More things that people say about the Shame and Relationships talk
Shame and Relationships
M.E. Jenkins
A very open and comfortable exploration of this difficult topic.
A very open and comfortable exploration of this difficult topic.
Read LessSpeakers

Speakers
Juliet Grayson and William Ayot
You Can Also Watch
You can watch the next in the shame series
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£10.00
£10.00Exploring Shame Series 1, Episode 5: Shame & Betrayal (85 mins)
Like the cruellest of conjurer’s tricks, betrayal leaves us feeling exposed and belittled. The shame of betrayal erodes trust, so we are prey to feelings of hopeless revenge bitter cynicism and paranoia. By avoiding false forgiveness, it is possible to begin to rebuild and move forward.