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    Shame Episode 7 - Questions & Answers

    • Shame Episode 7 Part 1: A review of the 6 sessions so far. Shame is a pandemic, and a universal experience.

    • Shame Episode 7 Part 2: Q: Is person centred counselling, with its non directive element, enough to deal with shame issues.

    • Shame Episode 7 Part 3: Q: How do we help our clients navigate the complex boundary between healthy shame and toxic shame, including when working with cultural issues. 4 mins

    • Shame Episode 7 Part 4: Q: Do you have any thoughts about someone who experienced sexual abuse as a child, and is now an adolescent and acting out, and you meet resistance when naming that? 9 mins

    • Shame Episode 7 Part 5: Q: What about Ayahuasca and MDMA for dealing with shame? 4 mins

    • Shame Episode 7 Part 6: Q: How can I work with shame in the here and now with a client, in a way that they can hear my compassion and confirmation of them. 16 secs

    • Shame Episode 7 Part 7: Q: Is it every possible to be fully free of shame. 6 mins

    • Shame Episode 7 Part 8: Q: Can you comment on how a large part of British child rearing is based on shaming the child. This is followed by inadvertent shaming live between William and Juliet. We watch how they process this. 5 mins

    • Shame Episode 7 Part 9: Q: Can you discuss the inextricable relationship between shame and guilt, which are co-mingled in addictions, in a way that is destructive and yet fertile. 8 mins

    • Shame Episode 7 Part 10: How we work with clients to express revenge in a symbolic way. 8 mins

    • Shame Episode 7 Part 11: Q: Having children who are on the point of fleeing the nest, and are making decisions you don’t quite approve of, how can you handle that? 7 mins

    • Shame Episode 7 Part 12: Q: Working with clients who are in the criminal justice system, perhaps women dealing with domestic abuse or sexual violence and the shame of the risk of their children being taken into care 4 mins

    • Shame Episode 7 Part 13: Poem called: This is not a poem. 3 mins

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    This is the same video - Exploring Shame Episode 7 - Questions & Answers - in one unbroken piece for those who prefer to watch 1 hour 24 minutes together

    • Exploring Shame Episode 7 - Questions & Answers 1 hour 24 minutes

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    • This is the audio version of Shame Q and A: 85 minutes

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    Feedback and Certficate of Completion

    • Please give feedback. NB A Certificate of Completion is released once feedback form has been filled in.

What we covered in this talk

Topics covered include: 

  • The therapist being robust enough to handle shame. 
  • A client who feels shamed but that is more due to their history than what actually happened.  
  • An adolescent that is bring promiscuous. 
  • We are ‘blown open’ by trauma leaving unlimited openness and vulnerability. 
  • Any trauma (intrusion) can be experienced as sexual abuse. 
  • Sexual abuse can lead to a lack of a sense of self and a lack of clarity about who we are. 
  • Managing psychoeducation in a relational way.  
  • Modelling doing something wrong but still being a good person.  
  • Being free of toxic shame and still impacted by healthy shame.   
  • Narcissism. 
  • In the session Juliet inadvertently shamed William, and then felt shame herself - this was all processed live in the talk.  
  • Toxic shame to healthy guilt.
  • Working on the shadow can liberate the golden shadow.  
  • How to process revenge by releasing it symbolically, so that it is expressed from the body in a safe way that does not invite further shame and guilt.   
  • Shaming shame perpetuates the cycle of shame. 
  • Stepping into different perspectives, past, future, and a friendly observer.
  • Seeing consequences, both positive and negative in the short term, and positive and negative in the long term. 
  • Rites of passage.  
  • Working with women who have been impacted by the criminal justice system and the shame of the threat of children being taken into care.

What People Say

Comments from the audience of the live talk

Thank you so much for your tender wisdom. This was such an informative and stimulating session.

Comments from the audience of the live talk

I loved your honesty and openness exploring shame as it came up in this talk. Just wonderful, thank you both so so much from the bottom of my heart. Another excellent workshop



Juliet Grayson and William Ayot

JULIET GRAYSON has worked as a psychotherapist since 1991. She specialises in working with couples and sexual problems. As a psychotherapist she is UKCP registered, NLPtCA accredited, COSRT accredited, and a PBSP accredited Trainer. WILLIAM AYOT is an award-winning poet, author, teacher and ritualist. Over three decades he has hosted and led, men’s and mixed personal development events and rites of passage. He uses poetry and the arts to teach leadership in boardrooms and business schools around the world, currently teaching on the Advanced Management Programme at INSEAD. William designs and leads bespoke rituals for individuals. He is available for one-to-one coaching online.

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