1. Please read prior to beginning the talk

    2. Part one: Introduction to the talk and the speakers; Juliet and William’s backgrounds and their separate journeys with shame

    3. Part two: Toxic shame and shamelessness becoming endemic in our society; words we can connect with shame; physicalising the shame; The Thirteenth Chair by William Ayot

    4. Part three: Healthy shame vs toxic shame; developing healthy shame; reinstilling the moral fibre in those who have crossed a boundary; developing a sensitivity to others’ shame; awareness of our own behaviour in healthy shame; empathy for our own shame

    5. Part four: Erik Erikson’s 8 stages of psychosocial development; autonomy vs shame & doubt in early childhood; parents building or destroying self-esteem; the freeze in toxic shame; Take her Down by William Ayot; the long lasting effect of shame

    6. Part five: Definitions of shame from Gershen Kaufman, Carl Jung, Patricia DeYoung, Marilyn Mason & Merle Fossum, and Brené Brown; shame and identity; shame vs guilt; shame as hiding rather than broadcasting; naming shame

    7. Part six: Q&A; can shame stop impacting your life?; ritual and letting go; shame and power; The Stick and the Stone by William Ayot; closing the talk.

    1. Listen here

    1. Watch here

    1. Resources: The poems William shared; links to other Shame talks, workshops, relevant websites and our mailing list; definitions of shame

    1. Feedback form and certificate

About this course

  • £10.00
  • 65 mins
  • Downloadable audio
  • CPD certificate


Juliet Grayson has worked as a psychotherapist since 1991. She specialises in working with couples and sexual problems. As a psychotherapist she is UKCP registered, NLPtCA accredited, and a PBSP accredited Trainer.

William Ayot is an award-winning poet, author, teacher and ritualist. Over three decades he has hosted and led, men’s and mixed personal development events and rites of passage. He uses poetry and the arts to teach leadership in boardrooms and business schools around the world, currently teaching on the Advanced Management Programme at INSEAD. William designs and leads bespoke rituals for individuals, and is available for one-to-one coaching online.

Juliet Grayson and William Ayot