Please read prior to beginning the talk
Part one: The disconnection of shame and re-finding that connection; Juliet and William's backgrounds; the sexual revolution and the hidden terror of shame; addressing shame for a healthy sex life; our upbringing's relationship to sex and shame.
Part two: Our need for community and belonging; setting the frame for clients to know it’s okay to talk about sex; information rather than intervention with the curious child; an open attitude leading to effective conversation then healthy expresssion.
FREE PREVIEWPart three: Pleasure & sexual joy as part of the life force; shamelessness shadowing shame; punishing or connecting through intimacy; cliches in men and women’s relationships to sex; responsive and spontaneous continuum; the psychosexual therapist’s role.
Part four: Learning to use the body for pleasure; mindfulness; shame reducing you and your connections; the poem The Blessing and the Curse by William Ayot; the brain and sexual ability; shame’s affect on sexual activity; sexual surrogacy.
Part five: Couple’s varying thresholds of closeness; independent & dependent roles; using conversation to address sexual shaming/wounding; unworthiness & sexual activity; growing up with addictive parents; sexual shame’s link to addictive processes.
Part six: Religion & sexuality; male body-dysmorphia; cultural messages affecting body image; self harm through risky sex & sexual activity; culturally imposed shame for gay men; despite the sexual revolution, not everyone is now 'okay'
Part seven: Knowing what we want to avoid harm; William’s experience of ‘sexual anorexia’; helping the client uncover shame in their sex life; the dance of yearning & wanting and the need to push away; William Ayot’s poem Across a Crowded Room.
Part eight: Healthy sexuality; shame & fear as obstacles to a fulfilling life; communicating with your partner; pornography distorting sexuality & porn-based assumptions.
Part nine: The importance of talking about our shame and sexuality; Juliet’s Conscious Relating model; respecting yourself & others; personal sharing to open up conversation; William Ayot’s poem A Silence.
Listen here
Watch here
Resources: Links to relevant websites, workshops, and our mailing list; the poems that were read; the Five Star Conscious Relating model; a link to Sexual Healing in the Israel Military on BBC Radio 4.
Feedback form and certificate
This talk explores shame as a binding link between trauma, abuse and dysfunction. Locked into behaviours that ensured survival, shamed individuals are often unable to complete emotional cycles and move on, leaving them diminished and trapped.
£10
Juliet Grayson, a sex and relationship therapist, answers a variety of questions about sex and sex problems. This talk covers a wide range of topics, many of which can be a source of embarrassment or shame in people's lives.
£10
Juliet shares a Pesso Boyden System of Psychotherapy model: 10 themes that commonly arise when working with people who were sexually abused as children, and shows extracts of client sessions to give an illustration of how PBSP works with the body.
Free
This includes an interview with Juliet on how to reduce sexual abuse by offering therapy to non-offending paedophiles & people who commit sexual offences.
£5