Please read prior to beginning the talk
Introduction
FREE PREVIEWPart one: Caretaking and co-dependence; parenting the parent; the poem Debtor's Moon by William Ayot; caretaking in relationships; advice and assuming others’ responsibilities; co-dependent couples; monopolising feelings; caretaking vs caregiving.
Part two: Self-Esteem; one's essential worth as a human being; inferiority and superiority; healthy self-esteem and unhealthy self-esteem.
FREE PREVIEWPart three: Grandiosity and self-esteem; your essential worth as a human being; self-esteem as a relationship; holding yourself in the face of your imperfections; remembering you are enough, the poem A Little Victory in a Long War by William Ayot.
Part four: Distinguishing shame and guilt; taking responsibility for bad behaviour without attacking the self; meeting harshness with loving firmness; giving shame a boundary; the price tag and toxicity of shame; the poem Flashback by William Ayot.
Part five: Grandiosity; Amy Sander Montanez's The Shame Continuum (self contempt vs contempt of others); inaccurate self-image, narcissism; Julie Hall’s The Shame Game; children of narcissistic parents; the shamed child and the resulting anxiety.
Part six: How do we help some one who is grandiose?; setting limits with the grandiose client; Terry Real's format; detaching with love and detaching from the energy of our anxiety and neurosis.
Part seven, Q&A: being codependent and grandiose in different parts of life; caretaking as a grandiose pattern, learning to detach after growing up with alcoholic parents; using language to shift shame; the river of shame and understanding its nature.
Part eight: The importance of boundaries and firmness when detaching from love, being self-compassionate; learning to live with your suffering as an act of love; what is detaching with love?; William's poem A Little Victory in a Long War.
Listen here
Watch here
Resources: The poems that were read; Caregivers and Caretakers lists; The Shame Game by Julie Hall; Challenging the Grandiose by Terry Real; links to other Shame courses, workshops, relevant websites and our mailing list.
Feedback form and certificate
Shame and Relationships
£10
Juliet shares a Pesso Boyden System of Psychotherapy model: 10 themes that commonly arise when working with people who were sexually abused as children, and shows extracts of client sessions to give an illustration of how PBSP works with the body.
Free
PBSP helps clients become aware of their own internal maps or blueprints for living. Often, these are formed in our early lives before we have any say in the matter. Strategies that may have helped us in the past can hinder us in the present day
Free
