Juliet Grayson & William Ayot's Recorded Offerings

Please read prior to beginning the talk

Part two: 1, Shame through silent response; Tronick’s Silent Face experiment; the poem Egerdon Hill by William Ayot; 2, Family secrets and inherited shame; 3, Family banter; 4, Family labels; 5, Intentional shaming; poisonous pedagogy at school

Part three: 6, Invasion of privacy/crossing a boundary; 7, Something goes wrong, being partly responsible; 8, Social shame; 9, High expectations; 10, Being excluded; 11, Shamed for doing something wrong; steps for moving from toxic shame to healthy guilt

Part four: 12, Pass it on shaming; 13, Shaming through events that were not your fault; 14, Feeling ashamed about your partner’s behaviour; 15, Shamed for being different

Part five: 16, Shame of the false self; the grief of letting go the false self; 17, External referencing; 18, Shame of self-censorship; 19, The shame of being struck; 20, Internalised shame; the poem Darshan by William Ayot

Part six: The reactions to shame; Nathanson’s 4 reactions; Juliet and William’s 6 reactions to shame.

Part seven: Q&A; shame and expectations; crying as trauma release; more on submission; the fear of losing connection; how do you work with grandiosity?; grandiosity and the fear of annihilation, the poem Momento by William Ayot

Listen here

Watch here

Resources: The poems that were read; links to other Shame courses, workshops, relevant websites and our mailing list; the 20 sources of shame list; the 6 reactions to shame star.

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